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Common Questions for Teens
When Your Parent Has Cancer

Is it my fault?
Thoughts do not cause things to happen. Remember you did nothing to cause your parent's cancer.

How can I learn more about what my parent is going through?
Don’t be afraid to ask questions about your parent’s cancer. No question is silly or dumb. Be careful of seeking information on the internet. Not all of it will be relevant to your parent's illness. Some people might tell you about someone they know who has cancer. There are many types of cancer so listening to what other tell you may be more confusing. Talk to your parent(s) if you have concerns.

How do I find support?
Talk with someone you trust. This might be someone in your family, a friend, or someone at school. Don't try to pretend that everything is OK. Things will feel worse if you don’t express your feelings.

What can I do to help?
When a parent is ill there can be a lot of upheaval in the family. Certain responsibilities and tasks might need to be changed. Because you are an older member of your family, you might be in a position to help. Sit down and talk about what you can do to help.

How can I reduce the stress that I feel?

  • It can be helpful to check-in with your parent(s) about
    what is happening. You can ask for updates or talk
    about how you or they are doing.
  • Remember everyone in your family needs to be flexible. There might be some times where you need to spend time with your friends instead of watching younger siblings or helping out. Try to keep a balance between helping out, and having some space and time to be a teenager.
  • Make sure you are eating and sleeping enough.
    Getting some physical exercise every day will help you manage any stress you are feeling. Listening to music or reading can help you relax or unwind.
  • Your friends might not know what to say. They may
    wonder how to talk with you about your parent’s
    cancer. Tell your friends how they can help support
    you.
  • While it might seem that alcohol or other drugs will
    help you cope, they really only cover up the pain. If
    you feel like you can't cope any other way, please
    reach out to a trusted adult and ask for help. It will
    make a difference in your life.

Do you have a list of websites, books, and other resources on helping kids cope?
Information Finder on Helping Kids Cope

You may also be interested in other topics:

Revised 2008

Harvard Medical School - Teaching Affiliate  
Treadwell Library | Blum Learning Center