My
emotions are all messed up. One second I'm scared,
then I'm worried. How am
I supposed to feel?
When you were first told that your sibling
had cancer, you might have felt angry,
sad, worried, confused, scared, or guilty.
There is no right or wrong way to feel.
Your feelings may change from day to
day. Every person in your family - your
brother, sister, mom or dad will experience
all kinds of feelings. As hard as it
might be, it helps to talk about your
feelings with someone you trust. A friend,
your parents, or a school counselor are
good places to start.
I hear a lot of stuff on TV and at school
about cancer, but I don't know if it's
right. How can I find out more about
my brother's cancer and what he is going
through?
Ask questions about
your brother 's cancer
or treatment. There is no such thing
as a silly or dumb question. Some people
will tell you about someone they know
who has cancer. There are many types
of cancer, so listening to what others
tell you can be more confusing. Talk
with your parents. The people at the
hospital who take care of your brother
or sister can give you more information
or answer your questions too.
I play basketball and I'm pretty good.
I think I might start this year. Will
I still be able to play? Can I still
do all the things I usually do?
You might be worried that your brother
or sister's cancer will make it hard
for you to keep up your schedule. Your
mom or dad might be busy and not able
to drive you to your sports game or play
practice. Talk with your parents. They
can figure out ways to keep things as
normal as possible for you. Usually,
there are other people, either relatives
or friends, who will be happy to help
out by driving you someplace or hanging
out with you. Try to remember your parents
are doing the best they can.
I know this is rough for mom and dad.
What can I do at home to help them out?
This is a stressful time for your whole
family. Everyone in your family may need
to be flexible. There might be some times
when you need to spend time at home with
a younger brother or sister, instead
of with your friends. You might need
to help your mom and dad with more chores
at home. Spending time with your brother
or sister who is sick can be a special
way to show how much you care about your
family. Your mom and dad want you to
have time to have fun with your friends,
too.
I'm pretty stressed out from everything.
What can I do to relax?
Listening to music, exercising or reading
might be something you do to relax or
unwind. Talk with your parents often
and ask for updates. If your friends
don't know what to say but want to help,
explain to them how they can support
you. Also, make sure you are eating and
sleeping enough. While it might seem
that alcohol or other drugs will help
you cope, they really cover up the pain.
If you feel like you can't cope any other
way, please reach out to a trusted adult
and ask for help.
Do you have a list of websites,
books, and other resources on helping
kids cope?
Information Finder
on Helping Kids Cope
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Revised 2008
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