Brian F.

Diagnosis: Non-Hodgkin's lymphoma
Treatment: Six treatments of CHOP chemotherapy, 20 radiation treatments

Profession: Artist/Sculptor

When I first learned that I had been diagnosed with non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma, I was told that I only had a few months to live without undergoing chemotherapy treatments. I wanted to believe that I could cure myself by eating natural foods, meditating in nature, and absorbing the positive love energy of family and friends.

My art, surfing and the beauty and power I feel within nature have always empowered me with excellent health and inspiration for life. In September 1998 while out surfing, I suddenly noticed a tight squeezing sensation around my neck when I would paddle for waves. Then I noticed the same feeling when bending over at the waist. When I stood up straight again, I’d feel dizzy and lightheaded.These were the first confusing symptoms that appeared and eventually forced me to take myself to the doctor. A chest X-ray quickly revealed the problem. A tumor the size of a small grapefruit had grown around my thymus gland and would lean against my heart whenever I would bend over.

As the radiologist explained this life-threatening situation to me I fell into a numb trance-like state as if this were actually happening to someone else. As it turned out, this trance helped to shield me from much of the fear and anxiety that overcame my family and friends.

After a biopsy and the pathology report, I entered Mass. General Hospital where I met with Dr. Michael Grossbard who felt confident that I could be cured with six chemotherapy treatments, followed up by 20 Radiation treatments. He seemed encouraged by the fact that the tumor was isolated to one specific area with no lymph nodes affected.

After three chemotherapy treatments the tumor had disappeared from the scans. I was in remission! I handled the chemo treatments pretty well, except that I became sick with high fevers and a bad cough twice – once after the second treatment, then more severely after the fifth treatment. Both times I had to spend several days in the hospital to receive IV antibiotic treatment.

The radiation treatments were simple and painless with no troublesome side effects. Besides the two visits to the hospital and the general fatigue, the most upsetting part of the treatments were all the needles stuck into me. My feelings became very hurt every time I was stuck by one. My entire family, especially my son, Sean, and my friends provided me with much advice, support and love, which really helped me to pull through.

Death had its icy cold fingers upon my shoulders, pulling me backward toward darkness. My family and friends helped to pull me forward toward light. Death’s grip was broken by this spiritual pulling combined with the effects of chemotherapy. Each new day now represents a step forward.